Most people want to be liked, but not many actually know how to be likeable. Likeability can bring many advantages in life: more friends, career success, more romantic prospects, better relationships… the list is endless. In the long term, it’s fair to say that likeable people will win out over the ‘average’ person.
But many believe that being likeable is a natural gift only bestowed to charismatic, confident and good looking people. In fact, this is a false belief. Being likeable is not something you are born with. Being likeable is entirely under your control. It is easily attainable by anyone and can be learned and practiced just like any other skill.
So, I’m hoping you now want to learn how to be likeable! Start using these 15 simple easy to learn techniques today and you’ll soon become a super-likeable person that people feel comfortable around and want to spend time with.
My 15 Tips On How To Be Likeable
1/ Always greet people by name.
It feels great when you are greeted with your name. This is why likeable people always use somebody’s name when they see them. People feel more comfortable around those who use their name. Make sure to not only use their name when greeting, but also during a conversation as it gets their attention and allows them to focus on what you say.
2/ Have a friendly demeanor.
The quickest way to appear unlikeable is to come across as disinterested or arrogant. You may not be that way, perhaps you are shy or suffer from social anxiety, but most people’s view of you will be formed within a few minutes. It is important to be aware of how you present yourself and try to develop and project an open, friendly demeanor.
3/ Be positive.
Positive people are usually likeable people. They are optimistic, they see the good side of everything, make jokes, and are generally fun to be around. Positivity is contagious and people love being in the company of positive people. So when in conversation, always be positive and try to use positive body language. Examples of positive body language are leaning in slightly towards someone who is speaking as this demonstrates you are actively listening. Uncrossing your arms and hang them at your side or hold your hands together in your lap to show you are open to what they are saying.
4/ Maintain eye contact.
When someone is talking to you, make sure you maintain eye contact. This demonstrates you are paying attention and are interested in the conversation. It requires no practice or the learning of a special technique, just the ability to meet someone’s gaze and continue looking them in the eye while talking.
5/ Be genuine.
Never try to be anybody but yourself. If you don’t agree with something someone says, admit it. If you don’t understand something someone tells you, be honest and tell them.
6/ Have a great handshake.
When greeting a person for the first time, your handshake is important. Studies have shown that people decide whether or not they like you within seconds of your first meeting. A firm confident handshake conveys feelings of trust and friendliness and makes the other person feel welcome.
7/ Demonstrate empathy.
Empathy is the ability to share another person’s feelings, emotions and point of view as if they were your own. It can be developed naturally by interacting with others and going past mundane, shallow conversations and actively seeking to understand a person’s point of view or personal challenges.
Want to know the real secret of how to be likeable? SMILE! Never underestimate the power of a warm friendly smile. Studies have shown that the amount of times you smile during a conversation is linked to how friendly you appear to be. Plus, people naturally mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. Smile at them during a conversation and they will unconsciously smile back at you and they’ll feel good as a result.
9/ Ask questions.
Possibly the most valuable technique to use if you want to learn how to be likeable – ask questions. It always surprises me how few people ask questions during a conversation. Many people manage to talk incessantly about themselves without asking a single question. Talking continually about yourself is boring and rude and people won’t like you for it. People like to know you are interested in them and an easy way to demonstrate this is to ask effective questions. Questions get people talking and engaged in a conversation. You need to ask questions that are open-ended, insightful and certainly non-invasive. Great conversation starters are to ask a persons thoughts or opinions on a subject. If somebody tells you a story about something that happened in their life, ask follow up questions.
10/ Don’t seek attention.
People who are desperate or crave attention are not likeable and people will not want to spend time with you. Being friendly, humble and considerate will make you far more likeable than trying to show how clever, rich or important you are.
11/ Turn off your phone.
When chatting, focus all your energy and concentration on the conversation. Turn off your phone and preferably tuck it away in a bag or pocket. Nobody likes someone who interrupts them to check a notification or answer a call.
12/ Don’t criticise or complain.
Negative people are not likeable or attractive. Spending time with negative people is emotionally draining. If you want to be liked, don’t criticise other people or complain about anything.
13/ Offer validation.
During a conversation, most people are subconsciously looking for some kind of validation that you agree with them. It is important to provide this reassurance as we trust and more importantly, like those who support us.
14/ Be open-minded.
Nobody likes a close-minded person. Being open-minded shows a willingness to listen and to be able to see situations and problems from another person’s perspective.
15/ Be consistent.
It’s difficult to like somebody who’s mood changes from day to day. In fact, people will avoid them. Whatever your mood or however you feel, always be consistent in the way you interact and treat other people.
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