There’s a saying that ‘if you expect the worst you’ll never be disappointed’ and of course, there is a certain truth to that. We all have the choice to either look for the worst or search for the best in life and whichever we do, that is what we are bound to find. Living a large amount of time inside our own heads, the things that we think and project onto the outside world can become our reality.
We can though, use this to our advantage, creating our reality by changing our mindset and beliefs. We can use our thoughts to change and mould our lives into a more pleasing, positive, and life-affirming experiences for ourselves and those around us. If you are wondering if your mindset needs changing, here are seven signs that a change in attitude would do you, your life, and your well-being a world of good.
1. You’re constantly complaining about the same things
Whether it’s the rain, the heat, the crowds, your relationship with your partner or family, the traffic, or the neighbor’s barking dog, if you notice you’re complaining about the same things repeatedly, then it’s time to solve these problems. Or, if that’s not possible, change your attitude towards them.
When we are faced with something we cannot change, acceptance is a powerful tool to a new and more comfortable mindset. It’s an amazing opportunity for growth and change and we should seize the occasion and use it to our benefit.
2. You continually self-blame
If you find that you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens, then you are definitely overdue to change your mindset. It’s not all about you! Guilt can become a bad habit and can also be a form of self-obsession. Take responsibility for what is truly yours to own, make amends or apologize. But don’t carry the emotional weight of guilt and self-blame. Let it go, and get on with living.
3. You look after everyone except yourself
You run around making sure that family members, friends, and neighbors have everything they need. You clean, you shop, you give people lifts to where they need to be and a shoulder to cry on when needed. Generally, you’re a loving, caring person. But the one person you forget to be loving and caring towards is yourself.
This is not sustainable and requires an immediate change in mindset. On an airplane, if the cabin loses pressure we are taught to put on our oxygen mask before our child’s. People feel this is counter-intuitive, feeling they should fulfill their child’s needs first. But of course, if you don’t have air yourself you will lose consciousness and then be unable to help them.
We can use this as an analogy in your day-to-day life. Taking care of yourself first and foremost is not a selfish act. It’s paramount so you can continue to be healthy and be there for those who may be dependant on your presence. Get enough sleep, eat well, indulge in some relaxing or exciting past-times and why not pamper yourself from time to time? It will also increase your well-being, your day-to-day happiness, your satisfaction with life in general and therefore your motivation, energy, and productivity.
4. You’re stuck in a rut
If your neighbors can set their watch by what time you leave the house, what time you come home, which evenings you go out and which you stay home, it’s time to switch up your routine. You may also notice that you eat the same things week in week out, go to the same café and eat at the same restaurant.
Do you also wear the same clothes and, when they wear out, you replace them with the closest thing you can find in the shop? And your hair, when was the last time you changed your style or color? These are all signs that you’re stuck in a rut and a fresh new mindset could do you a power of good in lifting your energy, giving you a new zest for life, and refreshing your style.
5. You constantly worry
If you are worrying from the moment you wake to the moment you go to sleep at night (if you manage to sleep at all!) then you really need a change in mindset. This kind of worrying can happen at any time during your life and needs addressing, especially if it is needless.
On the other hand, if you have big problems and issues in your life that are stressing you out, it is normal to worry. But they are exactly the times when you could really benefit from some small changes in attitude.
Meditation practices such as mindfulness can help move the mind to a more peaceful place as can breathing exercises, aerobic exercise, and engrossing hobbies. These are tools that can be used regularly to bring an anxious mind under control and give you some much-needed peace and relaxation.
6. You have overly high expectations
Constantly having overly high expectations is a sure-fire road to dissatisfaction, and dropping those expectations is an instant cure for that feeling. Concentrating on what you have, and not on what you want or lack will increase your sense of gratitude.
Look at all the many small things that you are blessed with right now, forget about desires for the future, or comparing what you ‘have’ compared to others. It’s all irrelevant and will only make you unhappy.
7. You are seeing only negatives
Take a good hard look at yourself and your attitude to each situation, relationship, issue and project in your life. If you notice a pervasive pessimism then it is time to shake up your attitude. Seeing negatives can help avoid disappointment, but there really are no other advantages. Try tweaking your mindset with the ‘attitude of gratitude‘. Each time you notice a negative thought, try to see something there for which you can be grateful.
For example “You hate your job and most of your colleagues”. Try changing this to “You’re lucky enough to have a job and Mary in accounting is a nice person”. Accepting the present as it is right now can be very rewarding. Regularly finding even the smallest things for which to be grateful (such as a nice sky or a beautiful tree) will gradually develop a positive attitude to a more optimistic mindset.
Final Thoughts
By making small consistent changes to your attitude, over time you will be able to make the most of the time, energy, and resources you have. Boosting your well-being, confidence, optimism, productivity, and satisfaction in all areas of your life. All it takes is a little self-awareness and a few small changes to have a mindset that is positive and stable, and able to withstand everything that life throws at you.
